Two months ago, I blogged in this space about my struggles with imposter syndrome – the sense that you're faking it and everyone else is more capable than you.
Two weeks ago, I attended a conference that was kind of eye-opening, and kind of healing.
It wasn't a writing conference. It was a gathering for organizers of English and American folk dance, my other current passion. I've been doing contra dance for about five years now, but hadn't been involved in organizing until last fall, when a volunteer friend talked me into taking the tiniest step: helping out with the Facebook page. Then this conference came up, a five-hour drive away, and he talked me into going to that too.
I took a lot of convincing – not because of the distance, but because of imposter syndrome. I'm not really an organizer, I said. I don't know the issues, let alone the solutions. I don't know what our local community has done in the past; I'm not even sure I know much about what we're doing now.
My friend finally convinced me that I didn't have to know everything to deserve to be at the table. So I went.
Erin here. I wanted to give you a sneak peek of Grave Touched, book 2 of my Fey Touched series, releasing May 1st from Turtleduck Press. Not long now! (Also? Fey Touched, book 1, is on sale for $.99 right now. Check it out if you want to catch up!)
Whispers. A flicker of thought.
My eyes wouldn't open. Panic sliced through me.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
"It's okay, Em. You're okay," a familiar male voice said. A hand stroked my brow. Nick? Was Nick here? My beloved Nick could always soothe me, keep me from the edge.
"Em…you're really here," Nick said softly. "You're alive."
Alive? Of course I was alive.
I opened my eyes, wincing.
A tall human woman watched me with gray eyes that I was sure peeled layers off of me. "Emily, I'm Doctor Lucia Jonath. You've been under my care for a few weeks now because you were in an accident."
On Saturday, March 14th, at a quarter to six in the morning, I changed out of my pajamas and into the clothes I would wear to drive from Tucson, Arizona to Dana Point, California. Unfortunately as I did, I changed from my blue flannel shirt to my red one, and left my new Fitbit Zip attached to the blue shirt. Which I then flung across my bed before packing up my car and herding the family out the door for possibly our most highly-anticipated vacation ever.
What I did, basically, was shoot myself in the foot for the next four days as far as my fitness goals went.